myenemy -.-

Actually i really wonder if i could successfully achieve what i aspire in one day. The reason for this is i have never been honest to myself. I'm always persuading myself to think that what others think are right and mine is never correct. From wat i could see in my history,i had always made the wrong decisions. But i know that self-confidence is very very important. I really admire some of my friends who are so confident in whatever they are doing. Whenever i want something v badly, the first thing i do is not to try every avenue and get it, but i will first ask others' opinions...very stupid huh..so the record for last year was..i've missed out many golden opportunities which made me feel very regretful. I think i'm just the kinda ppl who is better at fulfilling others' wills than my own. I always have the tendency to go against my will, the more i want to get sth, the more i force myself to stop doing that. I think now i have become my biggest ENEMY..arghh..is like i'm always saying no for a "yes"..and yes for a"no"....but this doesn't happen all the times.. just occasionally! So this is also one of the reasons why i could never get what i wanted..i bet whoever that is reading my blog will think that i'm a v stupid person. Actually i'm feeling very unhappy with my frivolous act but i just can't stop myself from doing that..Is actually very easy to do what u feel like..but y can't i just be as simple as possible..and not complicate sth that can be done without any difficulties. In conclusion, don't cheat urself! It hurts! >_<