You have a lot more things to do. WORK HARD!!!!

When you realize....

You know what, just keep your mouth shut, then the world will be much peaceful? WHO? YOU....!! YOU....!! YOU....!! okay I'm telling myself this, not anyone else. 

If you want to talk, just go down and find your pets, I think they can be your best listeners. If you want to cry, please jump into the pool, so that people cannot see your tears. If you want to hug something, just buy a bigger soft toy/bolster. If you want to scream, make sure you are in a soundproof room. All I wanna say is please don't ever disturb others with your problems, you will seem really annoying, or maybe not you is just me.

Perhaps I should pretend to be blind, deaf, mute when is necessary, and just focus on what's more important for the time being and not anything else. 
 


 

Sunday~

Please please keep me busy, as busy as possible, as tired as possible,

so that when I wake up I can be busy, when I'm tired I can sleep 

and nothing else, nothing else.  

Forever stuck at home for some irritable reasons, 

I'm sure everyone is going out tomorrow,

I will go out too, but for lessons, 

then for the rest of the day you'll see me at home.

Where?? HOME. 

I'm always looking forward to having a happy Sunday!! Though it's unlikely for the time being. But is alright! Sometimes sacrifices have to be made, as usual.

 

Overprotection

When things have a sad ending whenever you are directly or indirectly involved in it , you tend to lose courage in doing the same thing again, as you now need even more courage than the first few times to even start doing it.

The feeling is never good, but I'm always suppressing it. Thus, if you ask me what do you like to do most?? I can say is singing and drawing, as these are the best ways for me to release the mental stress which I have been accumulating. I don't care what I'm drawing or what kinda of songs I'm singing. 

I know I always appear to be a little moody, especially when I'm alone. So I like to keep myself as occupied as possible, if I can, I rather I talk non-stop than keeping quiet. 

But I really don't like to argue with people though I may do it sometimes, talking in this way make me feel really unhappy, I really don't like. But if you're doing that to me, I'm sorry this is gonna be the way I treat you, even if is something I dislike, I just gotta admit that I have a very thick face.

Why am I always the one who is giving myself problems, or rather making every little thing a problem for myself. Life is really difficult if I were to live like this. I'm building too many walls around me, but not a single window, you know how that feels like?? feeling.. SUFFOCATED~

Note for myself: Please don't get tensed up easily, love yourself more and at the same time allow others to love and care for you too, don't overprotect yourself; the door is always there, but why do you always choose to lock it?? 

I guess I just have to find the right key to open it when it's the time to do so.

Sleep MoRe!

Sleep is all I need most now. I just gotta wake up early every morning, yes is every morning, even weekends?? YES YES YES.

By right if that's the case I should be sleeping earlier, but I always fail to do so. And no matter how sleepy I am during the day, I just can't sleep. My god feeling really tired, sometimes I just wanna rest and not do anything. 

I still feel very tired even after I wake up every morning, really need more sleep I suppose. Good thing is when I know I'm supposed wake up, I will still wake no matter how reluctant I feel D:

How's your tempo of life~

Nowadays, I realized that I always talk a lot, sometimes I even think that its a bit too much. But most of the time, I was purely CRAPPING or JOKING unless there's something serious, just don't know since when I started to be this talkative (it's only when I'm with my friends).

If you knew me before this, you would never describe me as talkative but rather the opposite. You could hardly hear me when I spoke last time, but now this happens maybe once in a while. Now that I think back, I was a much more gentle and soft-spoken person back then :P

Then I started thinking why the change?? WHY?? 

I think is because I no longer want my voice to be unheard, I can voice up for myself, SO why act like a coward. Being silent about everything is not always good, you are more likely to miss out on a lot of things, and people might start taking advantage of this weakness of yours.  

Another thing, 'why are you so fierce sometimes??'.... ME?? Looking fierce?? Yeap but only to certain people, not because I hate or dislike them, no such thing, just that I tend to get a bit tense when people start getting or becoming closer to me when I only know them for some time. 

I don't usually get close to a person so easily and quickly, it takes time for me to slowly know a person. Thus, if this process were to be fast-forwarded, I will start feeling a little uneasy and insecure. That's when I behave as if I'm a little angry or looking fierce (that's actually my super tense look). I totally can imagine it now and hate it when I look like that.

I know I'm a little too sensitive in this sense, but that's the difference between what I called as close friends and a-friend-or-close-friend to be. 

Taking one step at a time is the tempo that suits me the best, but sometimes this might be a bit too slow for other people. Just like how every piece of music has its own tempo, if you think presto or allegro is way too fast for you, just choose a piece with a slower tempo. 

You might consider mine as adagio, but who knows, perhaps slow and steady works better for me:)

Clear ENOUGH??

When you know you are about to do something simply due to the impulsion you have at that moment..... Heyy don't do it first, think twice!! Because most of the time, you will be regretful after that.

Always think of the consequences of the things you are about to do. There were times when i really felt like doing something, really close to doing it, but after thinking, luckily I didn't. 

Unless you are very sure of what you are going to do is really what you want or worth doing, if not don't make a decision immediately, it might just be an illusion sometimes, maybe?? 

Do it only when you are clear of what you want. This way less problems will be created.

Being rational is a good thing, but of course I won't just follow the rules and regulations I set for myself blindly. When I'm sure enough of what I want, I will go for it!!~