Sunday~

Please please keep me busy, as busy as possible, as tired as possible,

so that when I wake up I can be busy, when I'm tired I can sleep 

and nothing else, nothing else.  

Forever stuck at home for some irritable reasons, 

I'm sure everyone is going out tomorrow,

I will go out too, but for lessons, 

then for the rest of the day you'll see me at home.

Where?? HOME. 

I'm always looking forward to having a happy Sunday!! Though it's unlikely for the time being. But is alright! Sometimes sacrifices have to be made, as usual.

 

Overprotection

When things have a sad ending whenever you are directly or indirectly involved in it , you tend to lose courage in doing the same thing again, as you now need even more courage than the first few times to even start doing it.

The feeling is never good, but I'm always suppressing it. Thus, if you ask me what do you like to do most?? I can say is singing and drawing, as these are the best ways for me to release the mental stress which I have been accumulating. I don't care what I'm drawing or what kinda of songs I'm singing. 

I know I always appear to be a little moody, especially when I'm alone. So I like to keep myself as occupied as possible, if I can, I rather I talk non-stop than keeping quiet. 

But I really don't like to argue with people though I may do it sometimes, talking in this way make me feel really unhappy, I really don't like. But if you're doing that to me, I'm sorry this is gonna be the way I treat you, even if is something I dislike, I just gotta admit that I have a very thick face.

Why am I always the one who is giving myself problems, or rather making every little thing a problem for myself. Life is really difficult if I were to live like this. I'm building too many walls around me, but not a single window, you know how that feels like?? feeling.. SUFFOCATED~

Note for myself: Please don't get tensed up easily, love yourself more and at the same time allow others to love and care for you too, don't overprotect yourself; the door is always there, but why do you always choose to lock it?? 

I guess I just have to find the right key to open it when it's the time to do so.

Sleep MoRe!

Sleep is all I need most now. I just gotta wake up early every morning, yes is every morning, even weekends?? YES YES YES.

By right if that's the case I should be sleeping earlier, but I always fail to do so. And no matter how sleepy I am during the day, I just can't sleep. My god feeling really tired, sometimes I just wanna rest and not do anything. 

I still feel very tired even after I wake up every morning, really need more sleep I suppose. Good thing is when I know I'm supposed wake up, I will still wake no matter how reluctant I feel D:

How's your tempo of life~

Nowadays, I realized that I always talk a lot, sometimes I even think that its a bit too much. But most of the time, I was purely CRAPPING or JOKING unless there's something serious, just don't know since when I started to be this talkative (it's only when I'm with my friends).

If you knew me before this, you would never describe me as talkative but rather the opposite. You could hardly hear me when I spoke last time, but now this happens maybe once in a while. Now that I think back, I was a much more gentle and soft-spoken person back then :P

Then I started thinking why the change?? WHY?? 

I think is because I no longer want my voice to be unheard, I can voice up for myself, SO why act like a coward. Being silent about everything is not always good, you are more likely to miss out on a lot of things, and people might start taking advantage of this weakness of yours.  

Another thing, 'why are you so fierce sometimes??'.... ME?? Looking fierce?? Yeap but only to certain people, not because I hate or dislike them, no such thing, just that I tend to get a bit tense when people start getting or becoming closer to me when I only know them for some time. 

I don't usually get close to a person so easily and quickly, it takes time for me to slowly know a person. Thus, if this process were to be fast-forwarded, I will start feeling a little uneasy and insecure. That's when I behave as if I'm a little angry or looking fierce (that's actually my super tense look). I totally can imagine it now and hate it when I look like that.

I know I'm a little too sensitive in this sense, but that's the difference between what I called as close friends and a-friend-or-close-friend to be. 

Taking one step at a time is the tempo that suits me the best, but sometimes this might be a bit too slow for other people. Just like how every piece of music has its own tempo, if you think presto or allegro is way too fast for you, just choose a piece with a slower tempo. 

You might consider mine as adagio, but who knows, perhaps slow and steady works better for me:)

Clear ENOUGH??

When you know you are about to do something simply due to the impulsion you have at that moment..... Heyy don't do it first, think twice!! Because most of the time, you will be regretful after that.

Always think of the consequences of the things you are about to do. There were times when i really felt like doing something, really close to doing it, but after thinking, luckily I didn't. 

Unless you are very sure of what you are going to do is really what you want or worth doing, if not don't make a decision immediately, it might just be an illusion sometimes, maybe?? 

Do it only when you are clear of what you want. This way less problems will be created.

Being rational is a good thing, but of course I won't just follow the rules and regulations I set for myself blindly. When I'm sure enough of what I want, I will go for it!!~

I know it all :)

I know how bad it is... I definitely know, don't need to tell me :]

But I know if I manage to go through the hardest times in my life, I will be so happy by that time. So just by thinking how happy I will be by that time, I always tell myself to just bear with it for the time being. It's definitely awful to be in this situation, but I will not let this be my problem forever, NEVER! This time, I'm very determined to do so! No matter how much I need to suffer, it's not a big deal anymore! Because I'm ready for that!!  

Missing You BADLY :(

I'm missing my phone quite badly. There are so much things about me inside, feeling so sad and unsafe at the same time. 

After this, once again it proves to me that there's no where safe to keep your things, no matter where, there's still a chance of it being missing or taken, by chance or by bad intention. A place which I once thought was safe, and things which I never thought would happen could just take place right in front of me.

In fact, nothing is impossible, don't ever think that it won't happen to you. But at the same time, do something to prevent all those bad things from happening, don't just sit down and hope that everything will be okay, no such thing!

I also learned that when something bad has happened or affected you, solve it as soon as possible, don't procrastinate!! I had learned this the hard way and suffered through the process, here I'm talking about another bad experience. 

All in all, when there's a problem, solve it, don't hide, don't procrastinate, don't be scared!!

Back from Melb:)

Just came back from Melbourne, and it's such a nice place to go to:)

The 13 days I spent there were merely awesome, every day was filled with activities and we'd eaten almost everything from the food list. 

All the friends whom I was with for that 13 days were really fun to be with, I admit that I wasn't very close to them before the trip, but after that, we'd definitely known and understood each other much much better. They burst away my "bubbles" (my barrier :P), but not all lah XP And I've gained one brother and one sister from this trip:D LOL

It's very true to say that 'A friend in need is a friend indeed'. During the trip, we solely depended on each other when facing with any problems. Still remember, it was extremely difficult to walk on the snow coz it was really really slippery. There were also ups and downs during our trip. But all the hard times and also the happy ones that we'd been through together are now memorable.

We took tonnes of photos and were playing like crazy, shopping till all the shops closed down, shivering non-stop when the wind blew, eating all the yummy food, in short, having lots of fun there!:D

There will be more updates about the trip if I'm free enough to do so :D if not, pictures will do the talking! but not NOW :P

I'm starting to miss Melbourne already~ a place which I don't mind going again:)

Don't think so much plz ~

Supposedly to sleep when it's so late, why still don't want to sleep?? >_< Been having too much thoughts in my mind, I just don't feel that it's right or good to share with anyone. But this is really not good and it's affecting my sleep. When I don't get enough of sleep, everything just gets terrible, my mood, my skin and urgh! Don't mention! 

I always think that I can become my own therapist for every problem I face, yes it works most of the time, or rather I'm good at convincing myself? I seriously don't know. I've been very tough for this but sometimes I just feel as though I can't breathe anymore, can't take this anymore! I'm very TIRED actually, but T. J.Y. , you must not give up in the things you do, cannot!! Must go on till the end!!! I don't know what will happen in the end, but will definitely cheer myself up if I ever get sad during this process, reward myself a bit if there's something great happens. 

Don't worry, I think I'm just too tired that I get myself a little confused sometimes. As long as I get enough of rest, I guess I'll be back to normal again! Yes I'm sure I will be!! Okay should rest before going for my trip, this would be the best chance to clear my mind:)

Things I did during the holidays~ #Part3

 Hanging out

Met up with some of my close buddies from secondary school. Those were the days when we were still so naive, haha are you sure?? :P But yea kinda miss those times when we spent our time together, studying in the same class, all the fun, happy, sad or crazy things that we did together was simply nostalgic!:)

We always have this pose whenever we reunite, lol looks kinda funny but just don't wanna forget that we were once called the X-group,  with 2 pretty members missing here:P

Sushi-making workshop

I went for a sushi-making workshop held by the T-Garden Cooking school. It was actually meant for my elective, guess what? Was quite fun. After the workshop, I've gained more knowledge regarding sushi. 

Surprisingly, there was a lesson teaching us about the theory part of sushi, things like the different types of sushi and their Japanese name, ingredients used and etc. They also told us from where we can buy those ingredients and the price. HAHA felt like an auntie out of a sudden, but yea it's good to know all these, just in case I want to do it on my own.

But I think I will still prefer eating at the Japanese restaurant, reason being there are quite many things to prepare when making sushi. Lazy people like me think that is a bit tedious and time-consuming to do all these things. Unless there's some special occasions, then I don't mind making sushi:D 

If you are interested to learn, I am quite willing to teach you since it's still fresh in my mind, BUT just teaching you verbally LOL. Don't ask me to prepare the ingredients XP. 

The workshop specifically taught us to make Gunkanzushi, that means sushi which has a seaweed sheet encircling the rice ball, the reason why it was named Gunkan was because Gunkan in Japanese means warship, and this type of sushi has the shape of a warship which we see in the olden days. Altogether, I learned to make 10 types of sushi, 4 pieces for each, so in total I'd made 40 sushi:D

(From top to bottom: Egg Mayo Gunkan, Salmon Roe Gunkan, Red Ebiko Gunkan, Chuka Wakame Gunkan and the one on the right is inari sushi) Not too bad but definitely not up to standard yet :P

CONCERT!~

Went for Jayessless's concert over the weekend, yeah man!! I just love listening to their sweet voices, very soothing and it's simply wonderful!! First time listening to their live show! I could see that they are having quite a lot of fans out there, still increasing... I'd been longing to go for a concert, but there was nobody to go with me, this time I finally had somebody to go with me :DDD

Merely awesome!:)

Up till now, I have almost finished blogging about the things I did during the holidays. Soon, I'll be going for a trip! But not too sure if I'm free enough to blog by that time, since it's close to the commencement of another new semester!! 

Anyway, I think my holidays this time were well spent!:)